World Cuppa

It is an unavoidable fact of life in today's 24-hour round-the-clock football-mad media that journalists and pundits will hastily rush to judgement only to end up with egg on their faces when all is said and done. Of course, this only happens because there is a demand for it; we feel the need to try to make sense of the madness before the dust has even begun to settle, only to later realise that making sweeping judgements during the heat of the moment is utterly foolish. This process has been especially evident during the World Cup. Barely two weeks ago we were being told that this was South America's tournament and that it signalled the decline of the European nations on the international scene; all six South American teams had made it through to the second round, whilst traditional European contenders like Italy, France and England had floundered. One newspaper article even suggested that FIFA would be forced to restructure the South American World Cup qualifying system to make ...

As the post-mortem of England's abysmal performance rages on I feel it is only right that I get to jump on the band-wagon and present my top 5 (alternative) reasons for our World Cup Epic Fail. 5. The Language Barrier Now I don't want to seem prejudiced in any way, but there are always going to be difficulties when the top man cannot be understood by those beneath him. It was painfully evident that the communication was just not there; players repeatedly drifting out of their assigned positions, passes to nobody, defensive lapses, all classic signs of a lack of communication. But what can you expect when your captain is a Liverpudlian? Everybody knows that Stevie G sounds like a mouse suffering a helium overdose. 4. Lack of Alcohol After England's glorious, all-conquering 1-0 thrashing of the mighty Slovenia the tabloids triumphantly declared that the win was down to the fact that Capello had let his players enjoy a beer or two the night before the game. Obviously this makes ...

Most die-hard supporters will agree that following England in the World Cup is like being in a particularly volatile relationship. Yesterday's embarrassment, then, played the role of a suitably messy break-up and now we are left to pick up the pieces and wonder how it all came to this. Qualifying In the beginning there is nothing but excitement and hopes are high. Yes, maybe you realise that your new partner isn't the complete package, but who out there is without any flaws? Anyhow, they have more than enough positive things about them to make up for anything they may lack. Maybe, just maybe, this could finally be the one . Pre-tournament Friendlies Soon the excitement fades and you realise your partner is not quite the heavenly creature you had initially seen them as. But this is ok, everybody knows that no relationship is ever perfect and you still believe that the two of you have what it takes to last the distance. England Vs. USA Inevitably, the relationship will eventually ...

I am delighted that Crazy Diego has lived up to all my pre-tournament hype, already providing us with several WTF?!? moments. Here is a countdown of the top 5 wackiest Maradona moments so far. 5. Trend Setter Here we see Diego decked out in full Goodfella's costume with the mafia-esque suit, diamond ear-rings and clutching his now trademark rosary beads. All looks dapper enough, but look a little bit closer and you can see the real fashion statement here: he is wearing two watches. For once there is actually some degree of method in Maradona's madness. It appears he has always had a bit of bother getting to grip with different time zones, and thus whenever he is abroad he wears one watch set to local time and one set to Argentinian time. Maradona is, quite literally, ahead of his time when it comes to fashion. 4. Diva Diego In a move that even Mariah Carey would be proud of, Maradona made several outlandish demands of the hotel that the Argentina team are staying in. Now I am no ...

In the countdown to World Cup kick off you can barely turn around without bumping into some idiot, myself included, spewing their opinions on how Spain should structure their midfield or whether Holland lack pace at the back, etc, etc. While it is understandable that the focus lies on the top teams and superstar players, it is often the no-name no-hopers that provide us with some of the most memorable World Cup moments. These moments usually fall into one of two categories; the sublime, typified by this superb head-down-and-charge-at-the-goal Saudi Arabia strike at USA 94, or the ridiculous, as best displayed by Zaire's hilariously petulant delaying tactics against Brazil in 1974. One team with the potential to fall into both categories this year is North Korea. Just like another country not a million miles away, the North Korean people will be dreaming of a repeat of 1966 when they heroically made the quarter-finals. In fact, they will be hoping just to be able to see the tournament ...

To me, and to most other footy fans, the World Cup is like Christmas, but much, much more exciting. You look forward to it for ages, you spend most of it arguing with family (whether it be about the quality of the sprouts or the point of Emile Heskey's existence) and afterwards you weigh about 3 stone heavier from all the eating and drinking. However, unlike the over-rated Christmas which shortchanges us with a mere 12 days, the World Cup is here for a full month! Although to be fair, the nation only really remembers the first two and half weeks up until England get knocked out, then the tournament is wiped from our collective memory through a good session of the other national past-time; binge-drinking. So, with just one week to go until kick-off, here is my World Cup blog, so sit back, have a biccy and relax with a nice World Cuppa (terrible, I know). I am particularly excited about this World Cup for a variety of reasons, none of which are tied to England's prospects in the competition ...

As with the build up to most World Cups, there are two prominent views on England's prospects for the tournament. One perspective brands the players as over-paid, over-rated primadonnas who shouldn't have even bothered making the trip because they will just crash out in the group stages and embarass the nation. The other perspective believes that these brave, proud English knights will capture the spirit of '66 and restore glory to the Empire once again. How did the nation's opinion ever become so divided? The truth is, opinion is not actually divided at all. In fact, for the most part, these two seemingly contradictory perspectives are actually both held by every English person at the same time . It is part of our national identity to simultaneously build ourselves up and put ourselves down, and we might lean either way depending which side of the bed we got out on, whether the sun is shining or not, or if we have just seen a chest-thumping, Eng-Ger-Land all-for-one-and ...